Intimacy Addiction

It’s one thing to be a sex addict. I’ve been a sex addict for quite some time but, in recognizing this, I have been able to be more responsible and not give in to urges unless it’s with someone that I feel at least some sort of connection with (despite my recent frustration of a dry spell).

It’s one thing to be a love addict. I know for a fact that I’ve suffered from this for as long as I can remember. I’ve spent far too long in my head fantasizing about “the one” and that elusive love feeling that just wraps you up and cradles you in a cocoon of warmth.

Intimacy addiction, however, is like this strange little middle ground between the two, the middle ground where I’m currently stuck. I miss intimacy with another person. Do I want to get laid? Oh, absolutely! But if an orgasm is all I’m after, I have a finger that can take care of that just fine. Do I want to be in love? You betcha! But I’m not going to go out seeking it or convince myself that initial feelies for anyone is actually love itself. That will happen on its own. What I do miss is the intimacy that you share with a partner. I miss kissing. Oh my GOODNESS how I miss kissing. I miss holding hands while sitting on the couch. I miss hugs from behind and little tickles when you least expect it. I miss neck nuzzles and temple pecks. I miss random dances in the kitchen and hearing the words “thanks baby.”

I miss having a connection and all that crap that comes with it. I detest random hookups but I’m craving simple touch. I wonder what kind of reaction I’d get if I just set up a kissing booth in the park across the street. “Don’t fret, folks! I just want to taste you for a moment! Now give me a hug, lemme squeeze that booty and you can be on your way.”

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6 thoughts on “Intimacy Addiction

  1. That last part about the booth gave me a good chuckle lol.

    I too have this same addiction. I crave it more than the sexual but with me if I get to much intimacy, even with someone that doesn’t love me, I will find myself getting a connection that will grow in my heart. Some of my female friends did this to me when I was younger and I found myself always wanting more from them and being lead to believe they did to through their actions but not so.

    The touches, caresses, hugs, kisses, and cuddles are killer when you miss them. I miss giving them more than getting them. I myself feel like my body actually aches to have those things at times but … single I am.

    Good luck with your addiction *hug* *wink*

    Like

  2. Intimacy addiction is a beautiful thing. I think any of us with a big heart and a true romantic within have this very addiction.
    And we can thank the big jerkfaces that have come through our lives that made us crave is even more. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d line up for the booty squeezing.

    My intimacy addiction comes in a different form. For reasons, I am touch adverse. Touch, in my world, is done with purpose and intent; not just because. It’s something I’m working to understand and expand my comfort for. My intimacy is psychological. I miss conversations for the sake of conversations. I miss knowing what you’re thinking from a look or word choice. I miss feeling I can trust trust you enough to answer “How was your day?” with more than, “Groovy”.

    I miss knowing someone and allowing myself to be known.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You bring up a good point, there. I suppose sometimes I don’t realize that being alone for a long time alienates me from those around me. It’s been quite some time since I felt like someone really knew who I was and vice versa. It’s just such a pain to go over your life to someone again and again when dating and knowing they really don’t care, just smiling and nodding.
      I had a friend come over last night to hang out. Part of me was thinking about my affection withdrawal while the other side of me is still afraid of intimacy. He gave me a shoulder massage, put his arm around me on the couch.. I could tell he wanted nothing more than to start up something, and old me would have jumped at the opportunity. Instead, at breaks in shows I would slink away.. when I felt like he was going to try to kiss me I would get up and say I wanted a cigarette. My comfort zone is still healing, apparently, because now I’m waking up still craving some kisses – but not at all guilty that I shut down those advances with that dude. Too much just “mmhmm”s and nods during conversation instead of actual talking. Bah.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. A balance is important. I’m the type to not (typically) have a physical interest in someone without a solid mental connection/attraction. I mean, sure there are a few people I’d do naughty, naughty things to even if they ate glue and had serious issues comprehending the plot to the movie Antz. But those are few and far between.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with physical intimacy for the sake of physical intimacy, I just find it leave me very unsatisfied on a personal level. I’d rather have 10,000 conversions with people explaining my man-crush on Steve Martin, why Zoro The gay Blade is one of the all time greatest movies ever, and that my zombie apocalypse preparation focuses primary on the collection and storage of amateur porn (for the bartering of supplies, not personal use of course), then say “fuck it” and settle for less than what I want.

    Liked by 1 person

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