Whiskey Induced Thoughts

I’ve been spending most of my afternoon/evening sipping coffee with bourbon, brown sugar and a splash of milk. It’s fantastically delicious and has led to me cleaning my whole apartment and dancing my ass off to Tool and Faith No More. My head is scattered so I’m going to try to empty it of a bit of its riffraff.

  1. Trump is terrifyingly close-minded and I shudder at the thought of him winning the presidency. I live my life with the theme of love and respect and hearing his shitty hate-based, close minded, petty junior high level bullshit just makes me want to shove his horrible hair piece down his own throat. How the hell do you have a presidential candidacy based off of dodging questions and poking fun at your running mates? Sometimes I fantasize about slapping every damn Trump supporter in their smug, retarded faces. I’m pretty sure America wasn’t founded on hatred towards everyone who didn’t believe the same thing you do. Isn’t that why people came here in the first place? To escape being forced to follow something they didn’t believe? Just love your fellow human, regardless of sexual orientation, faith or race. Not every Muslim is a terrorist just like not every Christian is a saint. Get the fuck over yourselves.

2. I pride myself on forgiving those who have hurt me in my past. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s really fucking hard. I can vividly remember the moment I decided to speak my forgiveness out loud for those who have hurt me. The hardest hurdles were my father’s widow and my grandmother. It took me years to forgive them but once I did I felt so freed. At the moment I’m having a lot of trouble bringing myself to forgive Grumpy McDrunkypants, or his mother for that matter. He sent me a text today asking how I was doing. I looked at my phone and said “How dare you fucking text me!” I haven’t felt such hatred toward someone in such a long time. I’m not proud of it but he screwed me up so much that I’m not ready to let it go. I’m not a fan of the word “cunt”. It’s sharp and harsh and I have plenty of other fun words but I couldn’t keep count of how many times I called him that right before I left. Even that didn’t seem a harsh enough word. Fuck that guy in his stupid alcoholic abusive face. This one will take me some time to move past. I should really print out a picture of his face to adhere to a punching bag. I’ll be in shape in no time. Fucker.

3. It’s interesting how different types of alcohol will have different effects on a person. After years of irresponsible drinking, I now know what I can handle and what I should stay away from. Vodka used to be my drink of choice. I’d drink it day in and day out. I had a vodka drinking buddy who I’d spend most of my time with and when I wasn’t with him I’d drink it on my own. It became a terrible habit that began to affect my job at the time. Fortunately I met my ex husband at that time and re-discovering marijuana helped me to get over my vodka addiction. I don’t touch the stuff now. Even the smell makes me cringe thinking of the awful way I felt the next day. Gin, I only had once as a teenager. I remember filling a water bottle full of it and sipping it at home, feeling so rebellious. I didn’t even enjoy it. Haven’t touched it since. Tequila makes me horny but it’s been ages since I actually drank a margarita with someone of the opposite sex so I haven’t even been able to take advantage of its side effects. PSH. The last time I drank mead was at a renaissance festival where I almost got kicked out of poetry readings for being the obnoxious drunk in the front row. Apparently it makes me quite perverted and obnoxious..so a pirate. Mead makes me a pirate. I used to think whiskey made me sick but realized that was because every time I had it before, I mixed it with a ton of other liquors. I’ve recently begun to drink it and realized it makes me happy, energetic and confident. I’m a fan! My favorite by far is wine, though. Wine drunk is the best! I become more talkative and open but don’t lose my sense of right and wrong. Also, the closest to a hangover I’ve ever had from wine was half an hour of a headache. No biggie. Though I’d still take a bowl over a drink any day. Just saying.

4. So I’m going on about 8 weeks without sex. I’m frustrated but not overly so. If I’m out for an orgasm, nobody is as skilled as myself as delivering one. I can hit 3 in 10 minutes if I do it the right way. What I really miss is kissing. That’s something I can’t take care of myself. I miss feeling someone’s lips against mine, gently prodding their lips apart with my tongue until theirs meet mine with gentle passion, tenderly pressing my lips against the sweet little corner of their lips and traveling slowly along their jawline, behind their ear, down their neck to the collar bone that I always crave. That feeling when someone kisses along my neck, letting their hot breath bathe my sensitive skin along the way. Damnit, now I’m getting horny again.

5. I just heard a commercial for Raising Cane’s talking about their lemonade and sweet tea served over their “signature crushed ice.” Signature crushed ice? Really, Cane’s? Really?

Ergh, time for a refill.





One thought on “Whiskey Induced Thoughts

  1. I agree on Trump lol But i dont like any of them. Im not sure ive seen or heard of a president i really liked alot.

    I cant go back and read the drunk and horny part in this cause you saying all the things you miss made me the same way as you were lol.

    I enjoyed the post though. It was interesting 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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