The Minx I Was

“I’ve never done this before” he stuttered, as my hand gently grazed his thigh. My eyes met him with a reassuring smile as I leaned in to softly kiss his cheek, making my way below his ear and down his neck before he turned to me and hungrily met my lips with his. His kisses were gentle but voracious and I could feel the heat rising off of his skin as our hands reached for each others bodies, pulling one another closer together.

Still entwined, we collapsed on the bed, lips never pulling apart. I could feel his erection press against my thigh, grinding into me as his leg pressed against my eager sex. Like teenagers we fumbled our clothes off hastily, breath already labored with passion. To my surprise he was absolutely huge and I craved every last bit that he had to offer. It was hard, sweaty, passionate. Every touch, every breath getting lost in a cloud of heat and wandering mouths. The sexual connection was intense, held in place by eye contact and moans. He didn’t last long enough for me to taste him, but by that point I was ravaged and grateful for the chance to rest.

We didn’t see each other again after that but he would frequently send me messages telling me how he couldn’t stop thinking about that night, about our tryst together. The inexperienced young man who was shown the time of his life by the older minx with a basket-full of tricks. I would smile, flirt back. I craved his touch again but we were never able to reconnect again. Shame.

I used to have this confidence about me all the time. I still maintain a great deal of pride in the sexual department but have this terrible issue standing in my way of being able to initiate or begin the process. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to flirt. Not that I necessarily miss the meaningless sex, but the confidence to attain what I want when I want it. And, ok, sometimes the meaningless sex too. I’ve surpassed my record of time without so much as a kiss and it’s driving me insane. Even a night of hot and heavy making out to think about later would be nice. I’m sure I know one or two people who would be happy to oblige but I freeze up and come up with excuses in my head not to. Would it help me get past this rut if I were to suck it up and go for it? Should I just close up shop on the lady bits to everyone but  myself? You know you miss intimacy when your porn searches change from rough group sex to “for women” sensual clips.  I just want some good, passionate, affectionate sex. Damnit.

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4 thoughts on “The Minx I Was

  1. You just need to make yourself do it! Flirting & confidence are 100% about practice. Plus, they’re a self-fulfilling practice. You’ll get what you want (whatever you want) just by taking back a little of the fun. 🙂

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    • I used to have zero problem with all of that. I guess it’s just more trust issues these days than anything else. I’m afraid to feel anything for anyone else but I want the good kind of intimacy that comes with feelings. It’s a catch 22. Maybe I should just push myself to try again. I might surprise myself.

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  2. Intimacy is something I’ve been craving myself lately. I have a friend with whom I share a mental (not at all physical) intimacy that has me wanting something deeper again. I can empathize with your desire and trepidation for seeking it out. I’m caught in a similar phase myself.

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