How I’m Living for Others lately

I find it interesting that people choose to open up to me about their relationship issues. I’m single, divorced, no clue what the hell I’m doing. Maybe I’m just not good at taking my own advice. Yesterday I invited my co-teacher over after work. She got into a fight with her boyfriend the other day and he’s been staying at his sister’s since. She was a wreck so I offered to make her a drink and let her get it all off her chest. Oh my goodness can that girl talk – when she wants to. If she wasn’t rambling on about every aspect of her life (which I know she needed to do, so I listened to it all) she was glued to her phone, tuning out anything I could be saying. This kind of worked out, though, as my cousin started texting me at the same time saying she thinks she rushed into marriage and wants to get out. So here I am, the girl that had hoped for a calm evening to get chores done, juggling two girls crying to me about their failing relationships. I gave the best advice I could, let them know I was there for them, but it was difficult to give them both the attention they really needed. Once my co-worker finally left and my cousin said good night, an ex that I’ve been hanging out with once or twice as friends prompted me for sex again. Ugh. “Do you ever think about having sex with me again?” No, no I don’t. I’m well aware that you regret leaving that night, causing me to dump you and move on but just because I’m single now doesn’t mean I miss you. He’s emotionally unstable and latches on to people easily so I keep a good arm’s length there.

As far as the dating front goes, I haven’t spoken to Clove in a couple of weeks. Our conversation began to dwindle after that date and I’m not going to be the one to beg for attention. Honestly, the other guy who I had been talking to for just as long has still been strong in the picture, in fact he’s the only one I talk to now. No dating apps, no juggling people, just me and Pickle. He makes me laugh and is one of the few people I’ve ever had phone sex with. He’s planning to come visit this weekend and I’m very excited for it. Unfortunately, Murphy’s Law is always against me and my period just started so no sexy fun time for me. Fuck. I was really looking forward to that. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be just as content feeling the warmth of his body near me. Who knows how it will go but I’m very hopeful.

On another note, how fucked up is it that the preschool I work at doesn’t recognize Teacher Appreciation Week? The only parents who are aware are teacher parents themselves. The bosses say nothing, promote nothing, don’t even tell us thank you. Way to do the complete opposite of boosting morale. I need a new job somewhere that actually appreciates the people working there.