Still bothered.

It’s really fucking unfair for Ricky to say those things to me the other day. Now I’m all messed up in the head and doubting everything and it’s not right. Fuck I hate feelings. This is why I tried to stay away from them. I just want to be happy and hopeful but I’m still waking up with an aching heart. Can I do this long distance/opposite work schedule thing? I need to find something to fill up my time. I need inspiration. I need hope. I need Pickle to be able to provide those things. I seem to be doing a shit job of finding them on my own.

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