The Spark

I’ve been pretty MIA for a while. I went through a period of being incredibly depressed and not wanting to talk about anything but I think a major part of that was being with someone I didn’t feel a spark with. I dated Pickle for a few weeks and, while he’s a kind and humorous guy, the embers of my feelings never really lit up. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to answer the phone when he called because I knew exactly what the conversation would be like: Bitch about work, talk about the cat, then awkward silence. Our opposite work schedules made it to where the only times we ever could speak were when our ships crossed in the mornings and evenings, leading to an extremely boring relationship. As soon as I identified this as the source of my unhappiness, I (kindly) explained the situation and broke up with him. No hard feelings but there’s no use hoping feelings will emerge that aren’t there.

I’ve been on several dates since then. Hookah guy was alright. Similar tastes in many things but he’s the type to talk at you rather than with you… plus he owns a fleshlight and that just really bothers me for some reason. I swear the one time I stayed there he was humping the air in his sleep. I think the guy has issues. He’s still trying to get me to see him often but I’m just really not feeling it.

There was the hairy young IT guy, Bill. I actually really enjoyed my date with him. We had coffee and margaritas, spent the night together laughing and goofing off. He even invited me to watch a showcase for the improv class he’d been attending the next day. It was a good one and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit bothered that I didn’t hear from him afterward. Every day on the way to work, I see him walking to his work. Every day I’m tempted to honk my horn or do something to embarrass him but it’s not really worth it. At least we had that one good date.

This week, however, I found that spark. I’ve only been talking to Jack for a few weeks but instantly our conversation was like butter. Not only does he have the same sense of humor and witty way of speaking, he also shares my oddest quirk (an extreme hatred for all things velvet). He’s a third grade science teacher (teacher AND science nerd?!) who helped me discover just how much lab coats turn me on. We started talking on the phone in the evenings and now have a regular theme of speaking for around 3 hours a night.. which is insane. Who talks that much every night with no lulls in conversation? Of course there has to be a downside because life can’t make it easy. He lives 3 1/2 hours away which is a total bummer. This week has been my vacation week from work and since he’s off for most of the summer, he offered to come visit on Tuesday. I had such a great time that my cheeks were hurting from smiling. He ended up staying the night and making plans then and there to come spend more time with me this weekend.

Of course, as always, I do my best not to get my hopes up but there’s something so magical about actually feeling that spark with someone.

I also feel that I should mention where I stand on the Micky situation. I had already started to get past him. I hadn’t talked to him much at all and was doing my best to cram his chapter back into the book of those 6 months of hell. He spoke with me last week and said that he wanted to come visit, spend a day and catch up. We made plans for him to come last Saturday. Of course, ‘something came up’ and he couldn’t make it, though he kept me updated through the day on his excuses. Fine, whatever, it was the second time he’d flaked on visiting. He swore up and down that he would come on Monday instead. I agreed but took it with a grain of salt. Sure enough, not a single peep from him that day. Maybe it was his goal to get me super disappointed in him so I could move on. If so, way to go because I’m completely over it now. I felt extremely disrespected but at the same time, he wasn’t on my mind at all. Only Jack. He still hasn’t spoken to me since and I’m not going to push for contact anymore. Consider this my closing of the Micky chapter.

I’m just going to enjoy this flame that’s finally lit between Jack and I. I certainly missed this warmth.

 

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