Rejection and Acceptance

When two people meet each other and mutually want to continue to see one another, it’s a great thing. Generally I give a few goes at hanging out with someone to really get a feel for how we get along. My main goal any time I meet someone is friendship, bottom line. If we connect and a spark emerges that’s fantastic but it’s not a necessity at a time in my life when I don’t have many friends around.

Sometimes, however, you meet someone and have a terrible experience hanging out with them. Occasionally, if it goes really bad and I make it obvious how uninterested I am, it’s easy to just stop talking to each other and move on. However, when the other person is super into you and you don’t reciprocate, it gets uncomfortable.

Guy I played pool with a while back, the one who put his arm around my shoulder and made my personal space alarms go berserk, keeps blowing up my phone. The problem is, he’s a nice person but I just don’t feel like I click with him at all. We don’t seem to share similar interests, he’s not good at picking up any conversational cues. At one point I even explained that I’m not in any place to want anything more than friendship with anyone and that I felt bothered when he touched me to see if it would give a hint but now he’s asking to hang out all the time and won’t stop texting about crap I just simply don’t give a shit about. I’m getting tired of making up excuses to not be available.

How do you tell someone that they’re a nice person but that you have nothing in common and it doesn’t make any sense to be THAT into me after I played pool with you super shittily and then watching some Archer? I hate being that guy. Normally I would say we could still be friends but again, this guy has really no redeeming qualities to offer me as a friend either.. which may be mean to say but it’s true. Ugh. Eventually I’ll get up the courage to say something.

On the plus side, been spending a lot of time with Jerry lately and surprising myself as to how much I’ve enjoyed it. He’s odd. He speaks fluent sarcasm and dry humor with a straight face and he’s quick with it. These are my keys to conversation and he sails far above and beyond me at it. I actually really like that. Puns and sarcasm make me happy and random witty remarks about things like getting a meal at a Christian restaurant and having it come with all the ‘cruci-fixins’ make me actually laugh out loud which I don’t feel I do near enough in my life. We went to a book sale this morning and then for smoothies and a walk around the book store this afternoon. Invited me for dinner later and I’m really thinking about it. Plus he has a west highland terrier who wears a hoodie. I mean…

May just be friendship but I find myself being flirtatious with him without even realizing it. The word “phrasing” was tossed around a lot in conversation today. It just flows and we were both giggling all the way through the store. Who knows. I’ve known him longer than almost anyone over here and he was the first to come welcome me when I moved back here – actually the only one who didn’t just send a ‘welcome’ through Facebook.  He’s the only one who really makes an effort (besides pool guy) to hang out with  me on a regular basis. He even invited me out on St. Patrick’s Day after work for some Black & Tans and a rack of lamb shepherd’s pie to celebrate me starting my new job. Maybe I’m the one who hasn’t been showing him the attention he deserves.

This literally did not dawn on me until I was driving home from the bookstore and noticed a stupid grin on my face. Hmmm.